Q: Who is "I invented Dick to Dick" for?
A: High powered American business executives who want to be respected without having to "earn it".
Q: What does "I invented Dick to Dick" sell?
A: We license you the right to say YOU invented Dick to Dick (giving you instant respect from your subordinates.)
Q: What is Dick to Dick?
A: Dick to Dick is sure to be the next hand to hand greeting to sweep the American workplace, replacing the outdated "high five" or "fist bump." We went all the way to China to understand American culture and determined exactly what subordinates like and respect.
Q: How much does it cost to license Dick to Dick?
A: Licenses are limited to one per user and cost $25,000. "I invented Dick to Dick" will only be issuing 100,000 licenses worldwide, limiting your chance of running into someone else claiming they invented Dick to Dick.
Q: If it's only a handshake, why can't I use it without the license?
A: We get this question all the time. The handshake is free and yes, at some point everyone will be using it (this is the only way it can become "cool" and gain instant respect for you- the inventor.) Everyone cool can use it, but only through "I invented Dick to Dick" will you will be able to claim that you invented it.
Q: Can't I just say I invented it?
A: You could, but without getting the inventors package that comes with the license, you will not be able to prove that you actually invented it. At Dick to Dick, all you have to do is pay the small license fee, take the credit, and let us do the work. If the fee is an issue, we suggest expensing it through your company or laying off a subordinate to make room in your budget.
Q: Where does my money go if the handshake is free?
A: Great Question! Only licensed inventors get the custom Dick to Dick Polo shirt -great for golf outings and high powered executive retreats- and a certificate of authenticity. Each Licensee also recieves top secret instructions on how to roll out Dick to Dick in the office and make it stick. However, the majority of each license proceeds goes into two things: Our CEO and "making it cool."
Q: How will you make Dick to Dick cool?
A: A lot of the research is highly classified but we'll let you in on one trade secret: Dick to Dick identifies artists that are so soon to be mainstream and underground, that they barely exist on paper. At a predetermined time, Dick to Dick will give the signal and unleash all of these edgy, emerging artists to begin a worldwide marketing assault promoting Dick to Dick as their go-to handshake. Please check the news section for updates on the latest artists joining the Dick to Dick movement.
Q: What if I still don't get it?
A: Research shows that those who don't get it, are some of the most powerful leaders in America today. Studies also show that they need Dick to Dick the most.